Sometimes it gets a bit crowded inside my head because there seem to be so many personalities dwelling there. Wait! Before you get worried about a “Sybil Complex”, there is an explanation that will hopefully make sense. You see, just as with many people, there are many personalities that make up who those of you who are reading this know as CindyRose (the blogger).
There are the primary Family two … Daughter and Sister. It depends upon the circumstances of the day, how strong they are and how much a part of my brain they occupy. However, make no mistake. These two personalities are ALWAYS around, never leaving. For they have been around since the beginning … well, the daughter part has been. The sister part came six years later, but that’s a blog for another day.
Another personality that comes under the heading of Family is that of Aunt. Although, due to circumstances, she doesn’t get to come out often, she relishes the time that she does for she is also one that is always around.
There is a personality that is laughingly called “The Cindy”. While this one is akin to family and therefore always around, this one is reserved especially for only three people to view and is also a blog for another day.
In addition to these there are also various others that shape and create who is viewed by the world around her … these others would generally fit under two categories – Friend or Co-worker and would also depend upon the viewpoint of the various people she encounters. Some simply call her Cindy, while others would call her Miss Cindy, and a few have called her “The Keeper”.
However there are three personalities that are not simply ALWAYS around … they are the basis, the foundation of the blogger called CindyRose. They are Me, Myself and I.
Last night I had to sit down and have a discussion with Myself concerning Me. A heart to heart talk, if you will. It didn’t start out very well. It began with this:
“You’ve not been taking very good care of Me lately,” I said to Myself.
You can see how this would not be a good beginning. I was upset with Myself and so was a bit testy. Perhaps I should explain.
I am the one who takes the responsibilities. I am the daughter, the sister, the aunt, the Cindy, the friend, the co-worker. I am the one to say “I love you” or “I’m sorry” or “I’ll do it”. I am the one who has to find the way for Myself to take care of the things she is reponsible for such as paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making the meals, etc. I am the one who has to make certain that Me is taken care of by Myself. For I am the only one that can make this happen.
You see, I and Myself understand that the part that is Me is the part that needs constant care or she becomes sick or worn out or doesn’t get the things accomplished that keep the rest of us happy. It is Me that smiles when being greeted in the morning by a child’s soft smile and hug. It is Me that hurts so badly when a friend is troubled or in pain. It is Me that listens when someone needs to talk and it is Me that laughs at the silly stories or jokes of others. It is Me that is strengthened or wounded by words and/or actions from others and it is Me that takes the greatest pleasure in the enjoyment provided when I find a new book or a new story comes to Myself to be written.
So, you can see where I might be a bit upset with Myself for not taking good care of Me, can’t you?
However, as I talked, Myself jumped in and pointed out that she could not take all the responsibility for Me, that I am responsible as well. Back and forth the discussion went, with very little resolution, for, I admit, I was not willing to hear Myself talk. It wasn’t until we both took a moment and thought about Me distinctly and realized that she had just been sitting there listening and laughing to herself. You see she has always understood that it was a joint effort in taking care of each other. For the three of us … Me, Myself and I must all take care of each other, as one. Otherwise one of us will slip and take the rest of us down with them.
Although … as I was explaining this to Myself, a commercial came on the television and distracted Me and … well … let’s just go with the saying:
“It’s not a bad thing to talk to yourself and it’s not a bad thing when you question yourself. What is bad is when you don’t listen to yourself and therefore have to repeat it.”