Did You Catch It Before You Blinked?

I've been advised that I've been remiss in writing.

And I have.

November was one of those weird months that simply sapped the writing right out of me. However, I'd like to pretend for a moment that it is still that eleventh month of the year, if you don't mind. Sometimes I feel it gets neglected and trampled over in our rush to get from the end of summer/beginning of school (September) and exhaulting in the beauty of autumn with colorful leaves & fat pumpkins (October) to the crisp joy of Christmas (December) and the opportunity to begin anew (January).

There's something about November. It always seems to go by so fast. With 30 days, it's not the shortest month of the year, but unlike April, June, & September, I always have such plans for a leisurely month of November and, in the end, I'm scrambling to figure out where the time went.

So I'd like to spend a few moments discussing this favorite month of mine. There's no real rhyme or reason here, just some thoughts that my brain keeps making me write down on napkins and scraps of paper, an indication that I was supposed to be actually writing and not avoiding it claiming writer's block. *grins*

In the realm of holidays often overlooked, November somehow got blessed with two of them. While Memorial Day & Labor Day get all the glory of beginning and ending summer, not to mention Independence Day with it's summertime fireworks, tucked into the fall month of November is Veteran's Day. Yes, the holiday gets its share of speeches and some areas even give it a parade, but for the most part it tends to slip on by as merely a day that government employees, and some businesses, have off. Yet, like Mother's Day and Father's Day, this holiday is a time for us to honor those who have served in our armed forces, who by the very act of signing up - either as enlisted or drafted - performed a sacred duty to protect our country and all of it's citizens. Wow. Say what you will about the various wars or police actions or whatever you'd like to call them, the men and women who served during those times of uncertainty, as well as those who served inbetween during times of peace, deserve our whole-hearted respect and appreciation. My dad served, as did two of my uncles. Between the three, our family covered three branches - Army, Navy & Marines. I'm always proud of my dad, but I have to admit, when we're out either at a show or a service and they call upon our veterans to stand, there is a slight catch in my throat and a mist to my eye for knowing that my father was one of those ready to do his duty. Veteran's Day comes in November, not a good month for picnics or gatherings for fireworks, so it has to stand on it's own merits. Quiet respect for those who have simply done what needed to be done. I was lucky. All three of my veterans came home. Not all of them did.

Now I know that TECHNICALLY Thanksgiving doesn't get overlooked. However, it doesn't really get to stand on it's own two legs (or drumsticks, as the case may be) either. The last Thursday of the next to the last month of the year, Thanksgiving seems to be more and more the herald of the Christmas season and less and less the day to gather with family and friends, to count our blessings, to give thanks for this new world the pilgrims ventured towards with their meager belongings and hearts filled with hopes and prayers for the freedom to worship as they chose.

Huh.

Hmm.

Kinda interesting that the holiday that came about as a way of honoring those who bravely ventured to a new continent in order to gain religious freedom and takes place in the month prior to the month in which Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus has been subtley overshadowed by the commercialism of shopping, of preparing the lists for black Friday's gift buying and giving, of filling calendars with lavish dinners entertained by Santas. Is it me or does it seem that the meaning of Thanksgiving has been taken away, much as prayer has been taken away from our children's schools?

I found rather appalling the news reports of people who spent the entire day of Thanksgiving camped out in front of storefronts, rather than with family and friends giving thanks for the blessings that were theirs.

I may not enjoy football, but I was with my family ... my mother, my father, my brother, his lady & my two nieces ... and that alone made my heart give thanks as my house was filled with warmth, love, and happiness. Particularly after their football team won. *grins*

Yep, November holds a couple of holidays that I find particularly meaningful. It is also a life changing month in that it holds Election Day Tuesday. Strikes me as intriguing that the month that includes the time for us to give thanks for the bounty of our great nation also brings us the day where we, as citizens, are also allowed to practice the freedom to chose the leader of our city, our state, our nation. Over the years we've had some great leaders, as well as some not so great, but the one constant in all the changing is our right to be the ones to choose.

Of course, November also is a personal favorite, just from some of the anniversaries of memories it holds. It is the month I began working for a delightful young couple as the nanny to their only daughter *mumblemumble* years ago, it is the month that I purchased my very first car all by myself (okay, with a little haggling help from a friend, but the money was all mine!), it was the night before Thanksgiving I moved into my little house 12 years ago, and then there was the Backroads Roadtrip of 2008 that led to a fast, fun filled weekend in Chicago last year.

November is more than just the next to the last month of the year. It's more than just the month before Christmas. It's a blustery autumn month filled with times of rememberance, family, and blessings. A month that we should all give thanks for our leaders, are protectors, our families. Maybe if we spent a bit more time doing that than in preparing our camping gear so that we can spend the night in front of store doors, we might all come away a bit richer.

One last thing ... there's a house in my neighborhood I've previously mentioned. It always amazes me. The older couple who live there keep their yard filled with the huge air blown creations for the various holidays. They have a bear with a heart, they have a leprechan with a pot of gold, they have a giant bunny. They have all types of creatures inhabiting their yards for the various holidays. Halloween decorations this year began, I kid you not, on August 31st and as the month of September waned into October, the yard simply became more and more filled. Then on November 1st, the goblins and ghouls disappeared and drivers by were greeted by a turkey. Unfortunately, the weekend before Thanksgiving, so arrived the Christmas blowups. November was not over, the day of Thanksgiving had yet to dawn, yet Tom the Turkey had been completely overwhelmed.

Can you see the cute turkey? Much like Veterans Day, Thanksgiving and even the month of November, if you blink, you might not catch something simple but rather special.

Washing Machine Pennies Have Been Spent

Tragedy struck just before Christmas 2007.

No ... not talking about my car accident. That WAS tragic but I'm referring to the death of a washing machine.

MY washing machine. The one that I had purchased 10 years earlier when I had moved into this little house. It had been faithful and then it was dead.

Great.

Atleast the dryer still works.

So, I began the task of loading up the laundry every week ... or more ... and heading out to the laundromat to wash the clothes. There's one that is less than a mile from my house and it is in a nicely lit area, clean and run by an older gentleman that doesn't say much but is always friendly.

I also began the task of saving up my pennies to purchase a new one.

Let's face it. Taking the laundry away from the house is not the greatest of fun.

After *mumblemumble* years of living in apartment complexes and carting the laundry basket across parking lots, down to basements, around to offices, my joy was extreme when upon moving to Tulsa all those years ago, I found an apartment that actually had the washer and dryer in the apartment. Not just the hook up. The actual machines.

Awesome.

I vowed then and there that I wouldn't be one to ever not have a "laundry room" again. Kept that vow for many years.

Until the darn washing machine decided that while the water could go in and the water could go out, if I wanted the clothes to be washed, I had to move that agitator in the middle by myself.

Yes. Because that was going to happen.

Nope ... washing machine was placed to the top of the list of things that I really, really, REALLY want to own, moving to a spot even higher than an HD television and DVR. There are some basic priorities. However, my priorities must be a bit off, because here I am, one year and 9 months later and I still am taking the laundry to the laundry mat ever 10 days to two weeks. (I bought more lingerie - that gives me atleast 14 days before I get desperate - I'm not completely stupid.)

I will admit. I have actually had the possibility of purchasing a washer 3 times since it died. Yep. Three times I have literally had in my hot little hand the amount of money necessary to purchase a machine that could live inside my house and wash my clothes, never having to load them into their respective bags and into the car and out to the laundromat in the rain, the sleet, the snow, the ice, the humidity, the heat, the wind ... well ... you get the picture.

So, why am I still wandering out into the dark of night to take my clothing to the public place where a variety of humanity gather to do this thing called laundry?

Because the President will not make it a federal law that nudity should be instituted nationwide.

Um. No ... that's not true. Just a pipe dream when it's late, I'm tired, and I don't want to but I've washed and rinsed in the sink for three nights and now, in addition to being out of lingerie, I'm also out of outerwear. For some reason my manager refuses to accept my pitiful "should only be seen in the darkness of my own home" clothing as actual "Business Casual". I'm thinking narrow-minded, but then ... she's probably right.

No, the three times were judgement calls ... I had the money ... I could have been responsible ... but I wasn't ... yet, I can't say that they were irresponsible because the three items I received I could not have gotten at any other time and because of them, my life has been filled with much joy, contentment, and happiness.

First ... the washing machine money was used to make my original ticket purchase to my first, and likely only, Supernatural Convention. While the trip morphed into something completely different than originally planned, it would not have occured at all if not for that stash of cash that I had saved and I would not have had a roadtrip week filled with such fun, culminating in the pleasure of squeeing like a little fangirl and having the opportunity to hug and put faces to some special people who have become such special friends.

Nope. That judgement call brought much joy and wouldn't be traded for anything, washing machine included.

Second ... the washing machine money was used last Christmas in a time of financial tightness to allow me to do two things - enjoy being the giver at Christmas, something I truly love and usually am able to do the way I plan, as well as paying up all of my bills and starting the new year off without struggling to find a way to make ends meet. It's not very glamorous but it was a wonderful feeling to start the new year without worrying about the rent and utilities.

Nope. That judgement call brought too much contentment to ever be considered less important than the ease a washing machine would bring.

Third ... the washing machine money was gathered earlier this summer and I actually went and looked at a couple to see about the possibility. Then a dream became achievable and all thoughts of washing machines went completely out of my head and into my house came a small 4.5 pound ball of white fluff I named Chester. He's grown a bit more in the two months I've had him. He is now up to 5.5 lbs and is a bit bigger than the minute size he used to be. He has also discovered a love of going bye-bye, has an extremely aggressive foot fettish at times (he'll actually work to remove both shoes and socks so he can lick and nibble toes and ankles), will fly through the house playing Superman with any piece of paper or magazine he can possibly get hold of, and believes that toilet paper is an actual food group. He also licks my face and gives me kisses, nestles between my legs as we sleep, crawls onto my head and whimpers during a thunder/lightning storm, and has the sweetest way of rubbing his eyes and head awake with his paws when the alarm goes off in the morning. He delights my heart when he begs me to pick him up upon arriving home and he fills a wonderful spot that keeps my house from being empty.

Nope. That judgement call was the best one yet for it has brought me great happiness - even as I sit here writing and watch him dash through the living room with a trail of toilet paper streaming from the bathroom behind him.

*sigh*

So, my savings priority remains to gather enough pennies to purchase a washing machine. I'm not worried. I know that it will happen when the time is right. Sometimes you just have to look at the bigger picture of what is more important. For me it was the joy of a once in a lifetime trip, the contentment of ending a year with a fun Christmas and beginning a year without stress, and the happiness found in a small, furry companion who laughs at me, drives me crazy, and most of all depends on me to be responsible for his safety and welfare while at the same time giving me complete and utter devotion.

Meanwhile, I am still loading up my bags and heading out to the laundromat every once in a while ... meeting the most entertaining and interesting people imaginable.

But that's for another time. Right now someone is advising me he wants to play ... and I am remembering that even though it's washed, it still has to be dried, folded and put away. And since I'm home, I'd best get to that.

It's Thursday, So It Must Be a Supernatural Christmas!!!

To all my friends and inmates, I wish you all a Blessed and Merry Christmas! This is just a little something that fell out of my brain and into my computer as I listened to Christmas carols and kept my mom company as she created the most wonderful scents in her kitchen. I hope you enjoy.

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Still and silent, the inky darkness seemed to envelope the black car speeding down the back road as though it had a memory sense of the twists and curves. The overhanging trees cast their shadows over the pavement as tendrils of fog swirled at the edges. As the night deepened, her driver realized that he would eventually need to slow enough to give a better traction when the visibility became even less clear. There was no moon to shine down and light their path, hidden as it was beneath the thick cover of clouds.

It didn’t matter though. Her driver knew where he was going.

Glancing over to the passenger seat, the driver grinned as he realized his brother had finally given up on his attempt to stay awake, to keep him company as he drove the dark roads. Hunched up against the door and window, long legs stretched as far as possible without encroaching near the driver’s side, it was only the fact that the position was one assumed on a regular basis that would save the young man from any truly strained muscles and neck aches. Oblivious to his brother’s grin, the exhausted young man slept, secure in his safety and calm in the peace still so recently restored to their only true home.

Returning his eyes to the road, in difference to his sleeping passenger, the driver lowered the volume on the pounding music streaming through the car’s speakers enough to soften, but not erase the pulsing rhythm of the bass line that was in tune with his own pulse. Thoughts of the coming day mingled with memories from similar days … some spent with their father, occasionally with their father and a friend or two, and, more times than should have been in their short lives, with simply his little brother for company. He shied away from the memories of the days that were spent alone, either in his favorite girl traveling or holed up in a motel room trying to will the day away with sleep and convenience store snacks.

A slight shift and a muffled snort from the passenger side of the car brought the driver out of his musings briefly to check whether it was an awakening or a deepening of slumber. Satisfied that his brother was still in the sound throes of sleep, he recalled their conversation at the beginning of the drive …

“Stopping for a holiday is a waste of time. If we hustle, we can be there by tomorrow night and maybe be able to stop whatever is going on.”
“It’s not a waste of time. A holiday is a time of being exempt from duty, from work. The work will still be there when the holiday is over. Besides, we celebrated last year.”
“Two things … 1) we were also WORKING last year or do you not remember being sliced and diced by the wicked version of the Kringle family? and 2) … last year was different.”
“Different? Yes … okay … it was different. We thought it would be the last one together. We’ve been given another … I’d say that’s a reason to celebrate, a reason to take a holiday. Besides … seems to me that THIS particular holiday would be one we need to …”
“To what? To go to church at midnight? To commune with angels – who are not too happy with us at the moment. To sing carols – which we suck at, by the way – …”
“No. To remember where we were last year and to be grateful for the divine intervention that did come and gave us … gave YOU … another chance. Come on, man. You know you really want to.”

Then the creep had pulled out the big guns …

“We did it last year when you really wanted to. I really want this this year.”

Darn manipulative sneaky little ...

Though the fact was, he had wanted to and eventually, taking enough time so that his little brother wouldn’t think he’d caved too quickly, especially after that last little nudge, he had given into the idea of going to their friend’s house to spend Christmas with his brother and the man who has become like a father – never replacing the drill sergeant that had loved and raised him but stepping up to offer support and guidance when necessary after the genuine article had gone and sacrificed himself. Not that he was going to slip down into THAT particular memory lane either. He had stipulated this was only to be a side trip and that the next day they had to be back on the road and working. His brother had grinned and agreed, pulling out his cell phone and calling to give the news of his victory.

Shaking his head, the driver took a drink of his cold coffee, grimaced and tightened his hands on the wheel as the night deepened further and the fog gave way to the beginnings of frost and light snow blanketing the passing fields and trees. From here on, there would be a chance of ice patches and snow drifts as they drew nearer to their destination. Not that he minded. Driving gave him a peace, reminding him that all the best of holidays he could remember included two things … his black beauty and his little brother. Despite all that had gone on in the last few years, the three of them were still together, and that meant something … something good … and he could hold onto that, even if it was only for a day.

The pulse of the music stopped as the DJ came on and announced the time with much laughing and ringing of bells.

Going with the impulsive urge, he slapped the back of his hand smartly to his brother’s chest, laughing as the younger man awoke startled, head swiveling around in all directions before his eyes were even really open, he yelled out to his brother…

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, SAMMY! Where’s the eggnog, dude?”

Christmas Night - A Thoughtful Thank You

It's Christmas night.

The house is quiet and dark. The only lights are those from the Christmas tree, a few candles warmly flickering around the room, and the soft glow from my computer screen.

Just a bit ago, I was standing in my darkened kitchen, looking out my window watching the moon cast it's silvery glow as I sipped a mug of tea (Comfort & Joy is the blend and it truly is!). It was so peaceful and I have to admit that after this last week, it was a comfort just to stand there and relax - allowing the last week's cares to finally slip away. I simply stood and enjoyed the sight and let my mind wander - something I haven't really done lately.

I thought of my family.

I thought of my friends.

I thought of my blessings.

It was a week ago tonight that I left the office full of plans, things I needed and wanted to accomplish that evening running through my head - scheduling, figuring, deciding.

It was a week ago tonight that everything changed in the blink of an eye when my little car was totaled in an accident.

To say that my plans for that evening (and the rest of the week) changed would be a proverbial understatement.

It was a week ago tonight that in a blink of an eye, I was blessed.

With the exception of some really incredible bruises (think concord grape) in some really incredible places and of some really incredible sizes, I am unscathed. The woman in the other vehicle is the same. We were both incredibly lucky. That is a blessing.

With a U-shaped front end, it is safe to say that my little car won't be doing any more traveling along life's highways with me. She was 10 years, 1 month and 18 days old. She had well over 100,000 miles on her, together we had made many journeys - not only to work but to visit family and friends in town and in other states. She provided me comfort and independence and in the end, she protected me from being further harmed. That is a blessing.

Shaky with shock, sore with bruised pain and unable to bring thoughts together in a consistent and cohesive manner, my friends and my family provided me with comfort, with support, with assistance and with love. That is a blessing.

Always the one to take care of the others, I learned the difficult lesson that it is alright to accept assistance from others - be they family or friends, near or far. I learned to practice what I preach and learned that sometimes the only thing we need to do is say "Thank You". That is a blessing.

It's now a week later. Plans were adjusted and Christmas, instead of being "ruined" because I was unable to travel, was modified and I spent it with my parents at my house instead of theirs. My little car is being replaced with a new model - one that won't require new tires, have a terrible oil leak, has a driver's side door handle that actually works without the window being rolled down, will provide air conditioning this next summer (something I haven't had the last two summers) and therefore will give peace of mind each time I'm on the road. I have found comfort in my friends. My head is now clearer and my heart is thankful.

Standing in my window, watching the moon's silvery glow on this Christmas night, I smiled.

Past is past. It's over. It's done with. It is time to move on with life.

Isn't that the gift of Christmas? With that first Christmas gift so many years ago - the past became past. The time had come to move on. Life became the blessing of Christmas. My life became a blessing this Christmas.

For that I say ... "Thank You".

Christmas Re-Run

It's December and I want to do a Christmas blog!

It's Thursday and I want to do a Supernatural blog!

It's chaos today and the blog that I'm currently working on, while it is about Supernatural, it is not about Christmas. So, I decided to post something I wrote last Christmas. We've had re-runs of Charlie Brown and Rudolf - The Red Nosed Reindeer and other Christmas shows. Why not have a re-run of a Christmas Blog? I'm not calling it a classic by any means, but it might be something enjoyable. Originally posted on 12/24/06, this was written after the episode Croatoan had been broadcast, Hunted was still a month away. I hope you enjoy.

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A Mother's Christmas Visit

Dean opened the motel room door, lay down on the bed
His body and mind were so worn and weary.
He looked round the room and then over at his brother,
Everything seemed to be so dark and so dreary.

The cares of the world seemed to weigh on his shoulders,
"I'm tired of this life, Sam", Dean said with a sigh,
I'm tired of the spirits and demons and evil,
We can't seem to kill them all so why do we try?

Sam looked at his brother and tried not to worry,
But the laughter and banter seemed so far away.
Still he tried to make light and to lessen the load,
Reminding his brother of what came the next day.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, Dean, or did you for get?
We'll relax and we'll just take a bit of a break.
What would you say if we ate somewhere different?
Had a good Christmas dinner, like potato and steak?"

Dean looked at his brother, so young and so earnest,
"It's just another day, Sam, as far as I see",
Dean sighed ... "Whatever you want, I really don't care
With Mom and Dad gone it will be just you and me."

Then Dean turned to his side, away from his brother
And willed sleep to come as his hand clinched at his heart.
He knew that the grief he held so tight and so close
Was threatening to spill and he could not let it start.

He so had to be strong for his younger brother,
To watch out for Sammy was the promise he'd made,
To the father he missed with all of his being,
Knowing his life had been spared because of John's trade.

Sam looked at his grim brother and wished he could help,
He thought of all the times Dean had been there for him,
Protecting him and keeping him safe from all harm,
And he kept wishing for help though the chances were slim.

Then Sam saw a small light, that appeared to be growing,
In the shadowy corner across from his bed
He waited and watched before calling his brother,
Something inside him said he had nothing to dread.

He watched as the light grew to a fiery brightness,
It lit up the room in a white incandescence.
Then suddenly gone, the room plunged into darkness,
Yet all around Same he knew was his mother's presence.

A whisper came softly, "Don't worry, my Sammy",
With a hand on his cheek and a ruffle of hairs.
"Now you go on to sleep and know that I love you.
I will take care of Dean and the trouble he bears."

As Sam went soundly to sleep and was not aware,
Mary went to her eldest and quietly stood,
Just watching his face as it grimaced with pain,
And she knew Dean was grieving much more than he should.

"Dean, my good boy, your Mom needs you to wake up now,"
Mary said as she smiled deeply into his face.
Dean's sleep faded quickly, he looked all around him,
"What's going on? Why are you here in this place?"

"I came to remind you of how special you are,
Of the man you've become who is brave and so good.
I know you feel you don't deserve to be living,
I know you'd trade back your life if only you could."

"Now listen, my son, for my time here is so short,
Your father's decisions, while not always the best,
Were his choices to make, he couldn't live with you dead.
So away put your grief, it's time to put it to rest."

"But, Mom, don't you see that that is only a part,
There is more to what Dad did than just make a deal.
There's the secret he told me of Sammy to keep,
I hate lying to Sam, it's a wound that won't heal."

"I know you're afraid Dean, but you must let Sam in,
You must trust in your brother, you cannot go wrong,
As you tell him Dad's secret, remind him as well,
Together ... United ... you're powerful and strong."

"My time has grown short and I wish so much to say,
My Dean I am so proud of the things that you have done.
(Well, maybe not all - you know the vices I mean!)
I love you, my darling. I am proud of you, Son."

"So go on back to sleep now and peacefully dream,
And know that I'm always with you and your brother.
Also remember to take some time to relax,
Then let down your guard and just laugh with each other."

"Mom, why did you come here now, and how did you know,
I needed you right now so much more than before?"
"Your brother, dear one, made a wish that was so strong
For someone to help you, to give you strength and more."

Dean lay down his head, no longer worn and weary,
Closing his eyes, he felt a faint kiss on his cheek,
Then memories assailed him of good times, such fun,
Of trees and of presents and daring to just take a peek!

And when he awoke, refreshed and remembering,
He snuck out of the room and, with hatchet in hand,
Cut down a small pine tree by the motel office,
Taking it back to the room and thinking it grand.

Dean would put away grief and give guilt the day off,
He would give Sam a good Christmas as in times past.
He would be strong a bit longer, he knew that he could,
Sammy's wish had given him a strength that would last.

Elf-Insanity

I realize that it's not quite yet Thanksgiving ...

I understand that it's a bit early to send out Christmas greetings ...

However I stumbled upon something that I can't wait to share. This is that present that cannot be wrapped and it simply cannot wait.

For anyone who needs some Christmas cheer, I give you ...

The Kripke and his Three Elves

(may they forgive me)