Christmas Re-Run

It's December and I want to do a Christmas blog!

It's Thursday and I want to do a Supernatural blog!

It's chaos today and the blog that I'm currently working on, while it is about Supernatural, it is not about Christmas. So, I decided to post something I wrote last Christmas. We've had re-runs of Charlie Brown and Rudolf - The Red Nosed Reindeer and other Christmas shows. Why not have a re-run of a Christmas Blog? I'm not calling it a classic by any means, but it might be something enjoyable. Originally posted on 12/24/06, this was written after the episode Croatoan had been broadcast, Hunted was still a month away. I hope you enjoy.

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A Mother's Christmas Visit

Dean opened the motel room door, lay down on the bed
His body and mind were so worn and weary.
He looked round the room and then over at his brother,
Everything seemed to be so dark and so dreary.

The cares of the world seemed to weigh on his shoulders,
"I'm tired of this life, Sam", Dean said with a sigh,
I'm tired of the spirits and demons and evil,
We can't seem to kill them all so why do we try?

Sam looked at his brother and tried not to worry,
But the laughter and banter seemed so far away.
Still he tried to make light and to lessen the load,
Reminding his brother of what came the next day.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, Dean, or did you for get?
We'll relax and we'll just take a bit of a break.
What would you say if we ate somewhere different?
Had a good Christmas dinner, like potato and steak?"

Dean looked at his brother, so young and so earnest,
"It's just another day, Sam, as far as I see",
Dean sighed ... "Whatever you want, I really don't care
With Mom and Dad gone it will be just you and me."

Then Dean turned to his side, away from his brother
And willed sleep to come as his hand clinched at his heart.
He knew that the grief he held so tight and so close
Was threatening to spill and he could not let it start.

He so had to be strong for his younger brother,
To watch out for Sammy was the promise he'd made,
To the father he missed with all of his being,
Knowing his life had been spared because of John's trade.

Sam looked at his grim brother and wished he could help,
He thought of all the times Dean had been there for him,
Protecting him and keeping him safe from all harm,
And he kept wishing for help though the chances were slim.

Then Sam saw a small light, that appeared to be growing,
In the shadowy corner across from his bed
He waited and watched before calling his brother,
Something inside him said he had nothing to dread.

He watched as the light grew to a fiery brightness,
It lit up the room in a white incandescence.
Then suddenly gone, the room plunged into darkness,
Yet all around Same he knew was his mother's presence.

A whisper came softly, "Don't worry, my Sammy",
With a hand on his cheek and a ruffle of hairs.
"Now you go on to sleep and know that I love you.
I will take care of Dean and the trouble he bears."

As Sam went soundly to sleep and was not aware,
Mary went to her eldest and quietly stood,
Just watching his face as it grimaced with pain,
And she knew Dean was grieving much more than he should.

"Dean, my good boy, your Mom needs you to wake up now,"
Mary said as she smiled deeply into his face.
Dean's sleep faded quickly, he looked all around him,
"What's going on? Why are you here in this place?"

"I came to remind you of how special you are,
Of the man you've become who is brave and so good.
I know you feel you don't deserve to be living,
I know you'd trade back your life if only you could."

"Now listen, my son, for my time here is so short,
Your father's decisions, while not always the best,
Were his choices to make, he couldn't live with you dead.
So away put your grief, it's time to put it to rest."

"But, Mom, don't you see that that is only a part,
There is more to what Dad did than just make a deal.
There's the secret he told me of Sammy to keep,
I hate lying to Sam, it's a wound that won't heal."

"I know you're afraid Dean, but you must let Sam in,
You must trust in your brother, you cannot go wrong,
As you tell him Dad's secret, remind him as well,
Together ... United ... you're powerful and strong."

"My time has grown short and I wish so much to say,
My Dean I am so proud of the things that you have done.
(Well, maybe not all - you know the vices I mean!)
I love you, my darling. I am proud of you, Son."

"So go on back to sleep now and peacefully dream,
And know that I'm always with you and your brother.
Also remember to take some time to relax,
Then let down your guard and just laugh with each other."

"Mom, why did you come here now, and how did you know,
I needed you right now so much more than before?"
"Your brother, dear one, made a wish that was so strong
For someone to help you, to give you strength and more."

Dean lay down his head, no longer worn and weary,
Closing his eyes, he felt a faint kiss on his cheek,
Then memories assailed him of good times, such fun,
Of trees and of presents and daring to just take a peek!

And when he awoke, refreshed and remembering,
He snuck out of the room and, with hatchet in hand,
Cut down a small pine tree by the motel office,
Taking it back to the room and thinking it grand.

Dean would put away grief and give guilt the day off,
He would give Sam a good Christmas as in times past.
He would be strong a bit longer, he knew that he could,
Sammy's wish had given him a strength that would last.

Forwarding an Email

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want."

My Mom sent me an email this week. That's nothing new ... I actually get them almost daily which is one of the things I love most about the internet. While she does send me notes, keeping me up on what and how she and my Dad are doing, asking or answering questions, and filling me in on friends and relatives, she also sends me "other stuff" - recipes, funnies, thoughts and beautiful musical picture montages. Some of it I save, some I don't, but I always enjoy.

Every once in awhile my Mom will send me something that touches me especially deeply. Something that reaches in and speaks to my soul in one way or another. Something that hands me a thought or a phrase or an idea that ... from the moment I read it or hear it, I know that it cannot be ignored. When that happens, I usually internalize it - accept it and adopt it within myself. Occasionally I will share it with a friend - one or two special friends that I know will understand how this thought has affected me.

Sometimes, though, there is within me an urge to share the blessing that I have received to as many as I can. Whether it affects others as deeply as it does me is not the point, the point is that it is something that begs to be shared - to hopefully touch other people's lives. Now, I don't do alot of email forwarding. Not sure why, I just don't. However, this begged to be forwarded.

However, that doesn't mean I have to do it the regular way. Just as I can never seem to exactly follow a recipe (I always feel the need to add or take away something), I opted to forward this here, in my special room where I have begun to keep and share my thoughts.

The email contained a video link to a YouTube video. I had determined that I would post it today and so it was on my list of things I wanted to get done this morning during my calm, the girlies are sleeping time. Imagine my surprise and frustration when I get ready to embed the video only to find the link has been pulled from YouTube for licensing reasons! I decided to see if I could work around this, to "scale the brick wall" and started with a search on YouTube that led me to a gold mine of links and information. I have now spent the morning being even more blessed than I was originally.

You see, the original video was a 9.5 minute video from the Oprah Show (hence the lovely yank due to licensing - heaven forbid they allow something marvelous to be shared "for free") and it was a talk by a professor from Carnegie Mellon University - Randy Pausch. If you have seen this, then you know ... you have been blessed. If you have not seen it, I figured out that you can indeed still view it - you simply have to do it with Oprah's blessing by viewing it on her website. I am posting the link to the page on Oprah's website ... you can read the written, but I would suggest you simply scroll to the middle of the page and click on the link entitled "Watch Randy's famous "Last Lecture". It will take a couple of minutes to load and you have to suffer a 20 second commercial but trust me ... it is worth it.

Randy Pausch on Oprah

This is 10 minutes and is incredible. When I originally watched Randy's lecture, I was impressed. What I discovered this morning was even more fun and more impressive. I found the entire true "Last Lecture" given in it's original form. I have also discovered Randy's websites and so I spent the morning, not as I intended but simply enjoying the words of a truly gifted man and an inspirational professor that truly loved what he was doing.

If you'd like to view the lecture in it's entirety, you can find it HERE. The description says it is approx. 1 hour and 45 minutes in length. It's actually about 1 hour and 15 minutes. The first 8 minutes are the introductions from various faculty people and the last 22 minutes are the applause and commendations.

There's also a transcript available for anyone who can't catch everything he's saying ... the mic goes a bit wonky on occasion and you need your volume up for those moments.

It is my hope that by passing this on, someone else can truly be inspired to dream and to follow those dreams.

Childhood dreams really can come true. I know this is fact. I thank Randy for reminding me.